“You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your ancestors did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him—you who have received the law that was given through angels but have not obeyed it.” (Acts 7:51-53).

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This is the first post I will not be sharing on Facebook, as I have finally come to my senses and deactivated my account indefinitely. Feel free to share this or any other post as you’re led to do so.

God has given me a message that few want to hear. I guess that’s not unlike Jesus or the apostles, not that I would ever compare myself to any of them, very few wanted to hear the message they were given either. Their message got them attacked physically and verbally, misrepresented and abandoned, and ultimately, their message got them killed, and I have reason to believe that my fate may not be all that dissimilar. “You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your ancestors did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him—you who have received the law that was given through angels but have not obeyed it” (Acts 7:51-53). Not too long after making this statement, Stephen went on to became the first recorded post crucifixion, New Testament martyr—stoned to death. Apparently not everyone considered the Good News good in Stephen’s day, and not everyone is going to consider it all that good in our day either; most, in fact, probably won’t. My heart grieves tonight, not only do I not know what to do, but I recently gave into immense discouragement, which I had kept all bottled up, and I handled a situation quite poorly; a mistake that I will have to own. God has given me a task, just one in fact, yet it doesn’t seem to be good enough, at least by the expectations of some of my peers, and the message, as I wrote previously, is not one many want to hear. When shall I knock the dust off my sandals, figuratively speaking of course, although I do wear sandals a lot, and go on my way to the next town? I suppose only God knows the answer.

This post was more therapeutic for me than anything else, and I am grateful for everyone who takes time out of their day to read. I usually avoid writing when I am hurting, and definitely not when I am angry, but I have an obligation to be true to the mission of which I believe God has charged me. I have been called to share my witness, my walk in Jesus Christ, in its fullness, and unfortunately, that witness includes times of despair and heartache, times of anger and betrayal, times of confusion and indecision, even embarrassing times, and yes, times when I mess up and make poor choices. I am praying about my next steps. I know that God is already at whatever crossroads I am headed and simply waiting on me to get there. I pray for ears to hear and a heart to obey.

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